Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
