im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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