we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
