Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
