Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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