I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
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