a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
