just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
