i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
