dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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