He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize