HIV tests are more positive than that guy
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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