she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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