I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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