apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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