She is in my trunk
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Randomize
