I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
