She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
