R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
