U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
