In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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