We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize