He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Randomize
