so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
When are your genitals available?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
