i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
