That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
