So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
