New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
