i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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