Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
