He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
