Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize