Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
