nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
