yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Damn victory sex feels great
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
