Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
