Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
