Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
