That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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