nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize