Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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