Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
