Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
