Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
