i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
