so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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