Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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