Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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