it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
