I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
