Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
