I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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