If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
