Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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