Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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