apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
