Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
my poor anus
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
My breath smells like gin and sadness
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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