seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
