i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
