i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
